Zephyr On Call

Wiping my GitHub

A few weeks ago I wiped my Github profile. Every repo, public and private; every star, every fix, every PR, every gist. All gone, just like that. Then I threw out my local copies of the code and made myself some coffee, and stared out the window at the black corvids pecking for food and sharp stones for their gizzards, and the five story featureless concrete wall of the apartment complex next to mine.

I think often about taking a high powered projector and playing Moomins or a Ghibli flick on that plane. I imagine the people walking by delighted at the sudden burst of color and movement. “Why did he do it?” Because it brought joy.

Why did I delete my life’s work? Because it no longer brought joy.

I used to scroll through my Github paralyzed. Not knowing what in those hundred odd repos was worth keeping, what was worth deleting, what was worth anything at all. And technically they weren’t hurting anyone by staying up. But I felt guilty of a crime of association. Every project an obligation. Every project a reminder of my former mediocrity.

Some of those projects were alright. I made some flashcards people liked to use, for the beautiful niche language I’m learning so I can finally talk with my mother in law about yarn and my father in law about fixing Volvos. A Leetcode to Anki generator which I didn’t actually build, just ported to use Firefox and have slightly better error messages. But a dozen repos of failed attempts at using Julia to simulate metronomes on a table? Two dozen more of failed websites, scraps of HTML, scraps of Haskell, scraps and scraps and scraps.

Scraps I felt I had to keep as some kind of record for all that time I spent unemployed, becoming steadily less unemployable - and maybe it did help a bit. Honestly. At the start. Maybe.

But I have a job now. A job, and a wife, and an apartment. A low powered projector we watch movies on. A new license to Visual Studio, and a blessing from on high to learn some C# and get my feet wet proper in the world of enterprise. If I want. I can also just be the standby dev talent on the ops team - a Flask application here, some slow-and-steady PowerShell refactoring there, whatever strikes my fancy, really.

I love my job. I love having a job. I spent most of my life too sick or too sad or too mad to let myself find work this nice.

So I guess, in the end, I wiped my GitHub as a necessary phase of learning to take technology seriously. I am at long last making money, in part, by writing code.

I can let the land lie fallow a season before I sow new clover.

#coffee #clover #moomins #ghibli